I have a nephew in the Special Forces of the United States Army. My sister and brother-in-law never know when he is going to be sent out on a mission, or what that mission is going to entail, or how long he will be away. His life is so secretive and mysterious to us that we eagerly devour anything that might give us some insight into what he does – articles in the paper or a magazine, features on the television news shows, books and movies about the Special Forces. And so it was that a couple of weeks ago I found myself in a darkened theater to see the movie “Lone Survivor.”
I knew what to expect. I’d read the book. I already knew the wrenching story of “Operation Red Wings” in Afghanistan back in 2005, and how a mission to target a Taliban leader by a 4-man reconnaissance team went badly; very, very badly. I knew that before the story was through, that 3 of those Seals would be killed and that 16 others would die in a failed attempt to rescue them. I was prepared for the agonizing telling of this story. What I wasn’t prepared for was the story of the Afghan villager who took the lone survivor into his village, and in the ancient tradition of something called “Pashtunwali,” put himself in-between the Taliban fighters and this gravely wounded American serviceman.
In the mountains of Afghanistan there is a code of honor among the Pastun people that goes back for more than 2,000 years, and part of it says that a host must protect a guest even if it means risking his own life and the lives of his family and friends. And this is exactly what happened in the debacle that was “Operation Red Wings.” The reason why there was a “lone survivor” in this story at all was because an Afghan village took him in and then defended him with their own lives, and that decision is still costing them. That village remains a Taliban target. They have sworn to destroy it and to kill all of its residents, and yet, when asked if they regret their decision in taking in our wounded soldier, they say that they would do it all over again. And when asked “why?” they will tell you about how their commitments define them as a people and dictate their actions.
Take a look at the Bible verse that we used this morning for our “Word Watch.” Every week there is a Scripture at the top of the first page of your bulletin that we’ve deliberately chosen and put there for you to meditate on before worship begins. This week it’s from Psalm 15 –
“LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell on Your holy hill? He who walks with integrity… who swears to his own hurt and does not change…”
This is what the scholars call an “entrance liturgy.” When people arrived at the Temple in Jerusalem for worship they were met by priests at the gates who asked: “Why should we let you in?” and “What makes you think that you have any right to be here?”
Biblically, this is a question about “righteousness” – “Are you doing what’s right?” “Are you in a right relationship with God?” And part of the answer that came back from the people who were trying to get in to worship was: “We are doing our best to live our lives with integrity. When we say that we are going to do something, we do it even if it turns out badly for us and actually winds up costing us something.” That’s what “swearing to your own hurt and not changing” means.
Recently the CEO of Thomas Nelson, the major American Publishing House of Bibles and popular Christian devotional books, learned that a former executive with his company had made a commitment to a third party via e-mail.
“It was obvious that he hadn’t researched the cost of his promise, nor did he get anyone else’s approval. The CEO was not even aware of the obligation until the other party brought it to his attention. And when he learned that the cost of the commitment was north of six figures, he gasped. Several rationalizations immediately popped into his head:
– The executive was no longer at the company.
– He obviously didn’t count the cost.
– He wasn’t authorized to make this commitment.
– This project was already under water.
– This amount was not in their budget.
– He wasn’t even aware of the commitment.
– And the CFO wasn’t aware of the commitment either.
However, after a few moments, the CEO remembered that their first core value at Thomas Nelson is “Honoring God.” They amplify this by saying that “We honor God in everything we do.” They then go on to describe the behaviors that express this value, and the fourth item on that list is:
We honor our commitments, even when it is difficult, expensive, or inconvenient.”
That brought everything into clear focus for him, and he noted that this behavior was initially motivated by Psalm 15:1,4:
‘LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? … He who swears to his own hurt and does not change.’
Simply put, the CEO of Thomas Nelson concluded, this means that our word is sacred.” (Michael Hyatt)
It’s the sacredness of our words, and the commitments that lie behind them that Jesus was talking about in our Scripture lesson this morning. Jesus expected His people to be known for their integrity, for the way that we would keep our word and do what we promised to do regardless of the cost. This is a rare quality these days.
We live in an age of “the path of least resistance.” We’ll do things for as long as it’s good for us, for as long as it’s meeting our needs and makes us happy. But if a commitment should start to inconvenience us; should it start to cost us something; should some commitment that we’ve made start to pinch and scrape us, well then we’ll start looking for a way out that allows us to keep face. This is why that story about those Afghan villagers and that story about the decision of the CEO of a major American Publishing House who each “swore to their own hurt and did not change” are just so striking. They behaved in unexpected ways; in ways that run counter to the prevailing cultural flow.
We expect politicians to lie to us. We expect products to fail. We expect relationships not to last. We expect institutions to let us down. But Jesus told us: “This is not what I expect of you as My disciples.” Let your “yes” mean “yes,” and your “no” mean “no,” Jesus said. And then, to make His point directly, Jesus talked about one of the main areas where our commitments take daily shape – our marriages. You see, for Jesus, integrity was not some abstract, ethereal concept; a philosophical ideal. It was immediate and practical. It had to do with how you treat the person with whom you are living in the most intimate relationship of all, your wife or your husband.
Divorce is such a personal and painful experience for so many of us, that when the Scriptures talk about it, we get a little skittish; some of us might even feel like putting our hands over our ears and running away just as fast and as far as we possibly can. I suspect we’re like this because we expect the Bible to condemn us. We’ve got a pretty good hunch that whatever the Bible might have to say to us about divorce, that it’s only going to compound the feelings of shame and guilt that we’re already feeling. We’re afraid that it’s just going to rough us up further. But, if we would lower our guard just long enough to actually hear what Jesus is saying in our Scripture lesson this morning, I think that we might actually be surprised by the grace of what Jesus has to say.
Among the teachers of the Law in Jesus’ day there were some who had a rather lax view of the commitment of marriage. They allowed a man to divorce his wife for any dissatisfaction at all that he might be experiencing with her, and this is what Jesus was opposing in what He had to say in our Scripture lesson this this morning. The commitment of marriage was just too sacred in His eyes to be frivolously set aside by some whim of fancy or by the first whiff of difficulty. Marriages are supposed to last. That’s the first thing that Jesus tells us in our Scripture lesson this morning. But as we all know, not all of them do.
Clearly, there are choices that we can make and actions that we can take that have the power to kill a marriage. And that’s the second thing that Jesus tells us in our Scripture lesson this morning. There’s a realism to His words. Marriage bonds can be shattered by unfaithfulness, and it’s incredibly painful when they are. But when this happens, we’re not finished. Serious as it is, contrary as it may be to what God intends for us, destructive as it is to people and their highest hopes and deepest dreams, when a marriage fails, we do not come to the end of the story.
Divorce is not the unforgivable sin. That’s the piece that’s missing in so many of the conversations about divorce that I’ve heard in the church through the years. It seems to me that there are those who want to make divorce different from any other contradiction to God’s revealed will in which we might personally have a share. The grace of God in Jesus Christ that promises to make us new and to give us a chance to start all over again as “new creations” apparently has an exception, and it’s divorcees.
Even when this is not said out loud by the church – and frankly I’d be quite surprised if you ever heard it around here – it’s still heard in the hearts of so many divorcees, and that’s because divorce has this powerful and unique capacity to condemn us. Divorce is a fundamental upheaval in our identity and intention that affects us in our deepest places. And when it happens, when there is a broken commitment, this is when we need to know that repentance, forgiveness and restoration is the pattern of the Gospel.
When we confess our sins, “He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” John tells us in his first letter (I John 1:9). As the refrain to an old Gospel song that makes me very happy every time I sing it puts it –
“Wonderful the matchless grace of Jesus, deeper than the mighty rolling sea; Higher than the mountain, sparkling like a fountain, All sufficient grace for even me; Broader than the scope of my transgressions, Greater far than all my sin and shame; O magnify the precious Name of Jesus, Praise His Name!“
God’s grace is broader than the scope of my transgressions, this hymn says; it’s greater than all my sin and shame. So, just exactly what does this leave beyond the reach of God’s restoring grace? Divorce? I hardly think so!
Of course, Jesus Christ wants us to be people of integrity as His disciples, people who keep their commitments, people whose “yes” means “yes” and whose “no” means “no.” The reason why this matters so much to Him is because this is how He relates to us. This is the basis of our relationship with Him. When we keep our commitments it points to the way that God keeps His commitments to us, and that gives our lives a “question-posing” quality just like we experienced here this morning when we heard about those Afghan villagers and that Thomas Nelson CEO. It’s unexpected behavior that cuts against the grain of culture and that leaves people who witness it wondering why – Why are they like that? And the answer for us as Christians has got to be – because this is how God in Jesus Christ is with us. And ironically, where this shows most powerfully is not in our stretches of faithfulness, but in our episodes of unfaithfulness.
When we don’t keep our commitments, God still keeps His. As Paul told his young associate in ministry, Timothy – “If we are faithless, He remains faithful; for He cannot deny Himself” (2 Timothy 2:13). And this is the power of the Gospel. We are loved by God in spite of ourselves, that’s the truth at the center of His commitment to us, and it alone has the power to change us. God’s forgiveness of our unfaithfulness when we fail to keep our commitments is an important part of God’s faithfulness to us. And the renewal of faithfulness in us, seen in the way that we return to our commitments with even greater intensity and intentionality after we have stumbled is one of the first results of a genuine experience with God’s faithfulness. And what Jesus Christ is telling us in our Scripture lesson this morning is that the life of faithfulness to which He is calling us is nothing more than a reflection of the kind of faithfulness that God has already shown us in Jesus Christ. We learn how to keep our commitments by seeing how God in Jesus Christ keeps His.
Sources
Hyatt, Michael. “Keeping Your Word.” http://michaelhyatt.com
McKnight, Scot. The Story of God Bible Commentary: The Sermon on the Mount. Zondervan. 2013.